


one-on-one

by havisham



Series: havisham's SASO 2017 works collection [75]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Age Difference, Crack Treated Seriously, Doppelcest, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-20 18:04:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11926284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/havisham/pseuds/havisham
Summary: Aomine's looking for the pizza guy, but he finds himself instead.





	one-on-one

**Author's Note:**

> Written for SASO 2017, Bonus Round 7: Free-For-All, for [the prompt:](http://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/25713.html?thread=16159601#cmt16159601) aomine daiki/aomine daiki, [aomine voice] the only who can fuck me is me.

The doorbell rings and Aomine opened it, expecting the pizza guy to bring him his extra-large supreme with double sausage and pepperoni. American food was largely shit, but he couldn’t fault the portions -- that pizza was going to last him a day and a night at least. But it wasn’t the pizza guy. It was a guy, but that guy was himself. 

“Yo,” said Aomine to Aomine. “Are you gonna let me in?” 

*

The pizza came shortly afterward, but Aomine wasn’t able to enjoy it because of his doppleganger, who was wandering his apartment like a discontented ghost. 

“Where’s your porn?” Aomine demanded while Aomine paid for the pizza. The pizza guy gave him a dirty look before he left, like he’d never had anything to do with porn in his life and Aomine just couldn’t believe that. The stoop on that guy’s shoulder was definitely the chronic masturbator’s stoop his grandma used to warn him about. 

“In my phone like a normal person’s, duh,” Aomine said, closing the door. The pizza was whisked out of his hands and his doppelganger dug in without even asking if it was okay. Aomine glared at himself. Had he always been this rude? 

Doppelmine said, defensively, “Don’t give me the evil eye, man. One moment I’m about to play with Tetsu for the first time since middle school and the next thing I know, I’m here and you’re opening the door.” 

Something clicked in Aomine’s brain. He snapped his fingers together and said, triumphant. “That’s it! We’ll call Tetsu. He’ll know what to do.” 

*

Tetsu was unnecessarily angry at having been woken up at four o’clock in the morning to take Aomine’s video call. He looked at the both of them blankly and said, “I’m sorry, Aomine-kun and Aomine-kun, but I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do in this situation. This has never happened to me before.” 

“Tetsu, you have to help me,” Aomine bawled. “This bastard came into my house and ate my dinner without even asking.” 

“Tetsu, listen to this,” said Doppelmine, “all this guy’s been doing is yelling at me all the time even though I said I was sorry. Why is the old me so lame?” 

“I’m not old, you little prick,” Aomine said angrily. 

“You’re so old,” said Doppelmine with a little sniff. “What are you, twenty-six? Seven?” 

“I’m twenty-one and in the prime of my life.” 

“You’re old,” was Doppelmine’s reply. 

“It looks like you two have some things to deal with,” said Tetsu with a large yawn. “Call me in the morning if it doesn’t go away.” He closed the call before either Aomine could protest. 

“Tetsu didn’t help at all,” Doppelmine said sadly. 

Aomine sighed. “I guess I could show you my porn.” 

They spent a few hours doing that, which led to jerking off together, which led to jerking each other off (which Aomine reasoned with just masturbation anyway) which then led to Aomine in bed with this doppelganger, having the best sex of his life. He’d been right after all -- the only one who could fuck him, was him. 

In the morning, Aomine woke up to an empty bed and sighed. He didn’t know if he was disappointed or relieved. Maybe a little bit of both.


End file.
